Reverse Dating

So contrary to my decision to take a break from dating, I decided to take another stab at the “reverse dating” technique.  I met this really nice man and found our conversations flowed easily and I constantly found myself laughing at everything he said.  Then we decided to meet….

I got off work early and headed to my besties house.  YUP, just like high school!  She did my hair while I did my makeup and attempted to take deep breaths to calm my nerves.  I have to say I was more nervous about this date than any other.  In other dating situations, I usually consumed a drink of “something special” either before or during the dating experience.  I also would find that I would meet someone, have an attraction to them, and then a date would be the result of the first encounter.  In this situation, I had not experienced the “physical attraction” and he had made it clear that he would know in the first 5 minutes if there was an attraction…  UGH!  So in analyzing it, I am referring to it as the new form of dating “reverse dating”. 

Reverse dating is the most difficult form of dating and has become the new trend.  Whether you are scanning pictures on match, zoosk, or eharmony; you are basing your winks, conversations, and decisions on merely a picture. After several of these activities, you finally decide to meet…and then it becomes awkward!

Ok, so maybe it is only awkward for me.  I still find myself stuck in the “old school” way of dating.  Everyone knows that the first impression of me is not the one that lasts a lifetime.  Yes, it sometimes becomes future topic of conversation; but it is not the final on “who I am”.  I find it easier to meet someone, break the ice in conversation, and then move forward.  In this new trend in dating “reverse dating”, I find it VERY easy to converse with the person (after all I find it easier to write my feelings versus saying them) and I do not have to stare at them while doing it. I find myself completely drawn in and attached before ever meeting them.  Then the time comes to meet and I am speechless, withdrawn, and can’t wait for it to be over. 

I can say this was a learning experience.  I now know EXACTLY what I want..  I am not ashamed to finally admit that there is a “look” that I am looking for.  It is not about being cute, sexy, or popular.  It is about being the kind of “man” that I have been waiting for all my life.  It is not describable because it consists of so much more than just his eye color, hair color, and body shape.  It involves how I see me through his eyes.  It is about the “look” and the feeling that I am beautiful to him.

Last night was wierd, but what it brought forward was even more disheartening.  I found myself reflecting back on a past relationship.  The “old school” form of “getting to know you”.  He enjoyed all the same hobbies as me, made me laugh, and gave great advice.  I found that at any given moment, I could lean on him for guidance, a good smack down, or just someone to socialize with. I often question myself on why I think of him and our short time together.  I can only say that our situation was “old school”, although I never saw the look; I wish I did….

So in Keeping it REAL, I think “old fashion” dating is more my style.  I would much rather confirm the "physical attraction"  first and then analyze the “soul”.  Remember, no matter how hard you try to not have “physical attraction” requirements; you will soon find out that “reverse” dating will remind you that you DO!  Happy Friday!