The Dating Experience.... Part II

Ok!  So my co-worker was correct.  I haven’t quite given up match.com.  I have to admit this is the most addictive thing I have ever done. Let me try and justify why before I get into my next experience and thought. 

I canceled my match account last month.  I decided that there was no value and the quality of people that I met was just not within my expectations.  All was good until I got that “temptation” or should I say “tease” email.  The first one “someone just reviewed your profile, sign back up now to see who”, I just blew off. Then came the second and third with titles such as “3 emails are waiting for you” and “4 people have winked at you”.

Now, if you know me at all; curiosity was KILLING me! So off I went to the site and before I knew it I was paying the monthly fee and searching out those emails and winks.   All I can say now is somebody stop this mad addiction I have to this site.  I have better things to spend my money on each month! SIGH!! Now back to my “winks” and “emails”.

I decided to accept a date with a man that lives about 30 minutes away.  I blew it off a few times because I had such a hard time with his name.  YUP, he has the same first name as the EX.  After multiple emails and daily text messages, I decided “what could it hurt”.  Maybe this man could turn around my complete distaste for the name reflected on my EXs birth certificate. Right?

So we meet at Panera.  He buys my dinner (Gets a check mark for that one) and we sit outside talking and enjoying the weather.  He did most of the talking and I just listened. He talked of his ex and the children, he talked of his job, and he talked of what he likes to do in his spare time.  I can only gather he was either really nervous or he definitely has found his “me” and likes his “me” more than most. 

So in a nutshell, his hobbies include riding his motorcycle, riding his bike, beers with buddies, and step aerobics…  Let me just say “he had me at step aerobics”.  And when I say “had me”, I mean he had me laughing and thinking I have found the weird in him.  Now remember, I am always looking for the “weird” in everyone.  After all, I think these men must be a little off if they have had a match account for 6 months and are still searching (oh wait, I have had a match account for 6 months…OOPS)

Our conversation continued for about an hour and I decided to look at my watch and say “gotta get home to the kiddos”. He looked somewhat disappointed and asked “can’t your mom put them to bed”.  I turned and looked at him, smiled, and politely said “no, that is my job” (another “had me” moment).  We said our “goodbyes” and I confirmed that we will have to do it again (depending on how much I tear this one apart).

Now, the thought process began on my 30 minute drive home.  I started thinking of all the men that I have met over the last six months.  I felt a “down” moment, as I realized that none of them have “fit” the bill completely.  If I could just merge them all together, I would have the perfect “date”! 

I reflected back to the first person after my separation.  The person that required nothing of me but a “friendship with benefits”. That one person that didn’t bring drama into the conversation and only found room for funny stories and laughter.   I don’t think I ever remember a moment in time that he would speak of his issues or problems and if he did..He LET IT GO once he vented.   But, we never went out to dinner, movies, or anywhere… We were truly just friends hanging out.  I decided I wanted more and he decided he wanted less so I continued to search….

I then reflected on the second man (electricman).  He was fun and loved to party it up.  We enjoyed time together, when he was available.  However, he clearly was hiding something and our “dating” was kept in secret (no dinner, no activities).  I soon came to the conclusion that he was hiding his feelings for his ex wife or maybe a girlfriend..not sure which one.  I decided I wanted more so I continued the search…..

I then landed on my last encounter before I reinstated match (bud).  Now this is the one to totally throw me for a loop.  He is nice, responsive, understanding and seems overall to get it.  When I say “get it”, I mean he seems to understand “women”.  He says the right thing when you are down.  He makes you laugh when you don’t think you can.  Without a hesitation, he will offer to help.    He even bought me lunch!  Hmmm, so what is wrong with this one? I am sure you can guess, so I wont post it on here..but let’s just say it was soon discovered that he is not “available”. 

So here I am, continuing down the dreaded match path. I now have one date behind me and another one scheduled for this weekend.  Do I take the chance and go meet the “deputy” or will I find myself hanging in the safety of my “backyard”.  I guess only time will tell, but in the mean time…

In Keeping it REAL,  I can’t stop dating yet, after all; what would I blog about if not the many trials and errors of dating.  I mean seriously, would you really read by “blog” if I wrote about my little girl’s favorite color or the traffic congestion I encountered coming to work?  NOPE!  So stay tuned to find out if I go or stay…Maybe if I am lucky, I will find that one friend that has all the positives that I have found in the previous dates…and fill the gap of the negatives..  Maybe I might find someone who has no drama, makes me laugh, cheers me up, buys me dinner, AND is available when I need a “friend”. Happy Hump Day!