This weekend is going to be a long one. I often find myself pondering, when forced to sit in my house for any length of time. With my little princess sick, I am sure that my mind is going to wonder. So what is on my mind today? I have been pondering on what it means to be single and not in a “relationship”. I have also continued to think of what it means when you cross the line.
As I continue to observe today’s dating style, it appears that the “situations” are very loose. What I mean is that the word “relationship” cannot appear in the conversation. After all, none of us are looking for or want a relationship. Right? However what happens when the situation becomes “intimate”? What happens when it goes further than just hanging out, good conversation, good food, and good laughs? What happens when you finally decide to take it to the sheets?
I must be old school, but I keep reflecting back to old faithful “Mr. Monogamy”. I even searched out the definition and in no part of the definition does it relate to “relationships” or “friends with benefits”. It is defined as a word to describe activities within a marriage. So was “monogamy” never meant to be part of the dating world? Is “dating” considered the try before you buy or in our situations…try and try again..until it gets boring?
I am just not sure I can digest all that I am seeing and hearing in today’s dating world. I am not sure I can succumb to the behaviors of the almost and over 40 group. I have always felt strongly that if you decide to take it to the sheets with someone that you are deciding to only be intimate with that one person. I am not saying “marriage” and I am not saying “dedicated” time. What I am saying is that you are deciding to only be “intimate” with that one person during that particular time. I just can’t invasion sharing or knowing that there are “others”. If there becomes a time that you feel the desire to be with someone else, you end the “intimacy” with the first person and move on. This involves complete honesty. Is this not how it works? Is it only called “cheating” in High School? I must be “solo” in my thoughts….because what I am seeing and hearing is totally off the path of what I would call “dating”, “friends with benefits”, or “testing the waters”. I call this observed activity “a one night stand”.
The only difference that confuses the situation is that a “one night stand” usually involved meeting a person at a random location (bar) and rolling in the sheets without any conversation or getting to know you time. It was a complete stranger encounter and no follow-up the next day.
In this new environment, the one night stand seems to come after conversation and getting to know you time. The friendships continue and the “activities” may go on again in the future, but they are fully aware that there are “others”. Is it just me or is this just crazy?
So, for all my readers; I do have advice today! Stop and think about what you are doing? Is it really that much fun? Do you like being a Wednesday night special or do want to find that one person that fills your spare time with laughter and good conversation? That one person to share “intimacy” with and not have to worry about who is on deck for Thursday. Stop and think… It is not “marriage” and it is not a “relationship”. It has no true definition but it is much more safe and comfortable then the “weekly special”. If you find someone else during your travels, your exit is easy and painless…but it is HONEST! After all, the worst words that you could mutter are…”I am not sure who the daddy is…I was with multiple people”.. Now, that my friends; sounds like High School!
So in Keeping it REAL, remember to be honest with yourself. If you feel guilty for your behaviors, there is a reason! Don’t settle for the hook up. It never lasts more than 30 minutes and in the end…you are left with dirty sheets and 6 unfulfilled nights. Now, go out and have a good weekend and before you take on that Saturday night special….stop and plan for Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday!!!
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