Happiness in Groups….

Last night was an interesting night.  I rushed home to take my daughter to swimming and then rushed around to provide one last “fun” event before bed time.  It was overall a busy day/night, so the kids were in bed by 8PM and I found myself laying in bed thinking.  

I remember my first counseling session and how frustrated the counselor was because I didn’t put “me” first.  She would sit and listen to me talk about my children, my family, and my friends.  She was soon criticizing me for not putting my happiness first.  I realized after four months of counseling and LOTS of money, that I was not happy unless those around me were happy.  Interesting right?  I left my counseling sessions deciding that I would work on finding “me” and focusing on my “happiness”.  So what did I do?  I got a divorce…and started to rebuild my life.

Now, here I am 1 year later and I find that I am not complete unless I am surrounded by “happiness”.  I am not saying I have full closure on the “me” but I am saying the final chapter involves others.  Is it my desire to make a difference?  Is it my motherly instinct?  Is it just easier to help others find it versus looking for my own? 

As I relaxed in bed last night, I thought of the friends that I have surrounded myself with in the last year.  I think of all the “moments” that we went through together.  I think of their progress (or lack thereof).  I then realized that we all have similar types of friends.  I remember the movie Breakfast Club..  It was a great movie and definitely had valid points on how diversity builds true bonds. Right?

So today, I am thinking of my circle of friends and posting my wish for their future….

Ms. Lost:  I hope you realize what you have to offer and build your confidence to GO FIND IT..  To you, I wish for strength and a map that leads you on your journey

Ms. Searching:  I hope you will find the internal peace that allows you to build “me” confidence because until you truly love “me”, your search will yield no results.  To you, I wish for confidence and comfort in loneliness

Ms. Fear:  I hope you find the strength and confidence to take the chance. You have found love and should not fear the “what if” or divorce fear.  To you, I wish you the strength/confidence to say “YES”

Mr. Unhappy:  I hope you take a moment to reflect on what you have and what you could have.  If change is your wish…stop waiting and make the move.  If you want to make it work, SPEAK UP.  You are expressing your issues/concerns/unhappiness to those that cannot make the change.  Talk to HER!  To you, I wish that you could have time (time to be alone to find your “happiness”). 

Ms. Lacking Confidence: I hope you will see what a beautiful women you are.  I hope you will let down your “tough” barrier and let yourself be the caring and compassionate person that I know.  To you, I hope for “trust” in those that are worth trusting and a mirror that shows you what I see.

Mr. Insecure:   I hope you will take time to see how great a person you are…  You are not ugly, fat, and a jerk.  You are a great father, friend..and someday a great boyfriend (she must be pre-approved).  To you, I hope for confidence in your personal life.   I wish that you would just say “thank you” when you hear a compliment, but more importantly; I wish you would believe the words that you hear. 

Mr. Alive: I hope you continue to work on showing your feelings.  I hope you succeed at fighting your battle of addiction.  You should be proud.  To you, I wish for sobriety and the voice that can heard from the outside. 

Now, why is this the focus for today?  I realized as I pondered on my “circle of friends”, every wish I had for them is a piece of me.  I am all of these insecurities rolled up into one!  I also realized that this journey is all about “me”. As I push them to be found, fearless, happy, and secure I am also “healing”.  After all, it was my “Search” that brought us together. 

In Keeping it REAL, they say it is important to put “me” first.  They say that “me” should always be the priority in decisions, actions, and thoughts.  However, I realized that “me” is a product of all those that surround me.    I feel confident in saying that if you put others first, you will learn from their experiences (both good and bad) and you will “grow” into the “me” that is happy, secure, fearless, confident, and alive.   I feel that my search is almost complete…  I walked with confidence last night for the first time in 3 years!   Life is great in the backyard….but venturing out can be fun too!!!