Last night I found myself sitting in bed “thinking”. Now, we all know by now that if I don’t have a question pondering in my head, I at least have a worry or thought. So there I sat thinking about my dating experiences and if the “dating” game has rules or protocols that should be followed. Don’t worry, I didn’t reach out to my FB fam.. at least not yet!
My one concern/question was when it is proper or correct to see multiple people? Before I go into my thoughts I want to explain the match.com process and how it works (for those that have not used it). Here are the steps to using match.com:
Search for “the one”
Wink at “the one”
They wink back
You chat
You go out
Now this is the point where it gets confusing, when you start getting serious or think you want to start seeing one person (solely), you block your profile. That shows that you are not interested in winks, emails, or chats. The reason for this is that they convince you to sign up for a 6 month deal. This keeps you active but will not make you available to the “meat market”. That’s right! I have officially labeled the experience. It was either “meat market” or “pool of piranhas”. At least “meat market” sounds less deadly! Right? Anyway, my question is at what point do you do this? I mean really, I am totally confused! I might be a little old school but I am getting so confused as to who is calling me at 6pm versus after their kids go to bed. I have now covered three towns and four names. I am sure I will mess up at some point right? When is it “proper” to shut down your profile? And what if the person that you are seeing does not? Crazy right?
Well here is what keeps me up at night, I like one more than the rest. What if I went out with one of the other men and ran into the guy in the lead? Would that be awkward or what? However, I am totally 100% NOT ready for a relationship so why does it matter? Should I continue to focus on building my dating experiences? I tossed and I turned last night and then I got online! His account is still active. I am sure he is still chatting and searching for the Miss WOW! So why should I short myself the luxury of “finding out” what is out there? If I run into him, it was meant to be. Right? The reality is that life is too LONG to make a quick decision. I have already made one mistake in life and do not want to make that mistake again. There is no harm in talking and there must be a reason why #1 is not making me JUMP to make a change. So in keeping it REAL, there are no rules. You make the rules as you go based on YOU. Everyone is different and not everyone can handle dating multiple people (even I find it a little confusing sometimes). In the process of all of it, you will know when you are ready to “Block” your profile. I am very confident it will not be for someone you met at the “meat market”. As long as you are having fun, why not enjoy the attention of many. After all, it has been a long time since the “before marriage” dating. Times have changed. Dating has become more advanced and so should those involved. So, I am off on another adventure that will keep my minding questioning and may lead to another FB question of the day!!! I am just “Keeping it REAL”!
You are correct, there are no rules. Everyone and every situation is as individual as a fingerprint so no two experiences are the same. You do what feels right to you and follow your gut. Your gut should be used at a federal level, that is how accurate it is! So date many, date few, date none. Whatever you feel is right, as long as your having fun...its all good!
ReplyDeletelove you,
J