Yesterday was a long day at work and then I found myself watching Tangled with my two wonderful children. As always, I found myself watching this fairytale and wondering..Why do we do this to our children? When was the last time you or someone you know was swept off their feet in complete “love”, dies, and then a small tear of sadness brings them back. I mean what are we teaching here? We all know that can’t happen. Right? (for those who haven’t seen it yet, no surprises)
As I watched the end of the movie (in tears), I thought of what reality really is for my children. I felt sadness as I remembered the first time I realized that “men don’t sweep anyone off their feet” (unless you are standing in front of the TV that is displaying football, Nascar, basketball, etc.) I wondered if I should bust the bubble now or let them figure it out.
Then there is my son. I swear I am going to “delete” the bad habits of prior men and teach him to be a wonderful person and a perfect partner. But reality is that my son is destined to fall in the typical man syndrome as his behaviors are already focused only on video games and TV. He has already developed selective hearing (and he has chosen to select me out). If given the choice, he makes the wrong decision. He only thinks of the impact to him and figures “she will get over it”. Sound familiar? It does to me! I am determined that I will not give up…. I guess my only worry is that it is in the “hormones” and not a learned behavior. I guess time will tell.
As for my daughter, she is going to be just like her mother (I am going to fight this one too). She loves the “bad” boys and the more they push the harder she pushes back. She is as determined as I was that she can still compete and beat them. But I also see that look in her eye, the look of a girl that finds the challenge exciting. Oh my, I am going to have my hands full! I hope I can also teach her that the nice guys end up with the money. Just kidding! I hope she searches deep for the soul that best works with hers.
So at this point, I am sure you are wondering where I am going with this? It all started when I was watching a sitcom and they were discussing cell phone contacts. Both of the women had men in their contacts that they dated months/years ago. I thought about it and grabbed my phone. I started to laugh because in the last 15 years of having my cell phone, I have removed many people. Mostly due to the divorce and separation of friends, but I can say the list got smaller. However, there was ONE number that was still there. I laughed so hard because I can say it has been deleted, re-added, deleted, and then added on several occasions in the last 2 months. He IS the bad boy! He is distracted, non-committal, immature, and lacks communication. A COMPLETE mystery to me! Do I save it for those moments that I have drank too much of “something”? Am I hoping he will call? Is it the challenge to tame the wild man? I mean this is not someone that I would bring home to meet the family. So what keeps him in my contacts and on my mind?
I know the reason I don’t delete him… I know it is merely because I can’t have him… So what am I doing at this very moment? I am lingering over the “delete button” attempting to build the courage to remove the temptation. This time, I will not add him back!
So in Keeping it REAL, if you want to grow, you have to start following your head and not your heart. Teach your children to be good and honest (break the silence). Find the new YOU and begin building stronger friendships with those that are valuable and distance from those that are a challenge. It is OK to delete people from your contacts and your life. If they are not worthy of your time, why waste the precious moment that you are given?
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