Going with your “gut” feeling..

So yesterday was a good day, I actually won something at a team building event.  I think my kids are going to be really excited when they realize they are the new owners of an Xbox 360!  I have never been a lucky winner, so I hope this is a sign of more good times to come in 2011. 

Last night I couldn’t sleep thinking about many things but one issue stood out more than the many other what ifs…  And of course it is about a man..Go figure Right? 

Anyway, I met this really nice guy.  He makes me laugh and there is never a silent moment in our phone conversations.  The problem is he never wants to go out and do anything.  At first, I really believed it was his hectic lifestyle and the fact that he runs his own business.  But the more I talked to him; I realized it was much more.    Now the decision..  Do I confront this or let it ride?

Well, I decided to confront.  My reasoning behind this?  He is the most honest person I have ever met.  Almost honest to a fault!  He says exactly what he is thinking at any given time and will answer abruptly even if he thinks you may not like the answer.  So last night we are talking on the phone (after he blew me off for dinner) and I did it.  I totally put it out there with just 3 words.  “You’re not ready”. He got quiet and said “What?”.  I totally broke it down for him:

·         Talks about his ex-wife in every other sentence

·         Last minute cancellations for going out

Again silence and then he said “I do sometimes think I am not ready, but if I was I would want to be with you”. Nice..Right?  Well, once again; I found myself talking to someone that still has feelings for his ex-wife.  OOOPS!  So knowing how much I care already from our daily conversations, I reminded him that it is OK to not be ready.  I reminded him that being up front is important and that I shouldn’t have had to ask.  I too am not ready, but I am also not in a place where I can handle rejection or disappointment. For all divorcees, we all know that we had years of that before we left. Right?  My last comment to him was to “think about it”.  I am a strong believer that if you want something, you will work for it.  If it is that important to you, you will do anything to get it. 

So my lesson for the day, ask if they still love their ex-wife. Just kidding!  You should always go with your “gut” feeling.  I knew something was off and should have asked weeks ago.  And as for my lesson for him:  If you still have feelings, you need to “feel” them.  Don’t hide them.  Don’t ignore them.  Face them!  In time, you will figure out if it is worth fighting, forgiving, or walking away.  I am Just Keeping it REAL!  Happy Friday to all!