Do we all truly have a purpose?

For the last few days, I have been stuck to the news and continue to find myself drawn to Japan.  I tell myself not to watch and stay away from the Internet.  Is that bad?  As many know, I am a “fixer”.  If something is broke, I fix it.  If someone is unhappy or sad, I offer a shoulder and options.  Seems simple right?  Just come up with a “fix” and keep moving.  As my bestie would say: “just keep swimming, swimming, swimming”.  I now realize what she meant.  It seems like it has been my motto for the last year to “not look back” and keep my head above water. 

Well, this is different.  I can’t fix the devastation in Japan. I can’t save those fathers, husbands, mothers, wives, and most of all the CHILDREN.  I can’t change what is going on there and can’t reach them to help.  I feel the burden of helplessness and at the same time appreciation for the “safety” surrounding my children.  I can’t imagine being in that situation.  Watching all the activity brings the “what ifs” to mind.    

For those that do not know, I grew up the fire fighters daughter.  My father was on the FEMA disaster recovery team (think that was the name back then). He was always on call to go when disaster hit.  I remember being in college and he was on standby to go to Turkey. I was devastated.  I had the what-ifs going crazy in my head.  What if they had another tremor?  What if he fell through a building that was weak?  I remember standing before him and looking at him holding back tears…wishing that he wouldn’t go.  I remember thinking that it seemed so crazy to risk your life for this.  17 years later and I now understand.  I understand the yearning he had to help others.  I understand the adrenaline that he felt when he was successful at finding one person safe.  I understand the need to help save someone. 

I must have learned from him because I constantly wonder about my purpose in life.  Was I meant to sit at a desk and perform daily tasks for the better of the business?  What purpose am I serving and will I leave this world feeling like I brought value?  

My dad died in 1997.  I still miss him every day and I am still reminded of the “mark” he made in the world.  Over 500 people attended his funeral, stories still roll off the lips of many about his heroic behaviors, and awards are still given yearly in his honor.  I have a great deal to live up too.  I fear as I watch the news and see the devastation that I have failed at truly finding my purpose/calling.  I feel that I am not truly “fixing” all that I can!  So today, if you have a moment, stop and think of the people that are suffering today in Japan.  Think about the mothers, fathers, and children that have lost someone to the devastation.  Think of how fortunate we are today sitting at our desk with power, food, cell phone service, and clean water.  Appreciate the moment.  Go home teach your children to appreciate the moment.  Then take one last task to think of what you can do to make your “mark” in the world.  It is not about the almighty dollar or the big house on the hill.  It is about what you leave behind.  It is about what people say when you aren’t looking and what people feel when you are gone.  I hope that someday, one of you will say “You turned my life around” or “You were always there for me”.  I hope that I can make the “mark” without trying.  I am just “Keeping it REAL”  Hugs to Japan and the families that I will be thinking about tonight…