Is it better to tell the truth…or say what feels right?

I had an interesting interaction with my son the other day and I have pondered on his response for the last few days.  I have taught him to say what he is thinking and that there is no room in our home for lies.  However, my question today was whether or not there are times that you should fabricate/stretch the truth.  Is it bad to answer based on what “feels right” versus “the truth”?

Anyway, it may come to no surprise to everyone that I am one of those women that constantly ask “Does my butt look big in this”  “Do I look fat”.  Normally, I would ask an adult but at the time of morning that I wanted to ask the question, my son was the only one in the room.  So I turn and say “How does this make me look?”  Before I reveal his answer, you need to first understand that my son’s favorite commercial is the one with Abraham Lincoln and his wife.  She asked Abraham if her butt looks big and he says “I cannot tell a lie”…blah blah…  I am sure you have all seen it and if not…You have too.

So back to my son’s response and my point to today’s posting.  Of course, he started with “Mom, I cannot tell a lie”. He then said “that skirt makes your hips look a tiny bit big” (also imagine him using his fingers to display his version of “tiny”).  For once in a year, I was speechless.  I couldn’t criticize him for being honest and yet I am not sure it was the “feel right” answer that I was looking for.  I looked at him and then turned and went into the closet to …ummmm CHANGE my skirt! 

Once we got downstairs, I proceeded to ask my son if I was really fat.  I realized at that moment I had gone too far and this was turning into girl “drama”.    I quickly said “don’t answer that”.  He giggled and said the most amazing thing.  He said “Mom, you are beautiful and it was just a skirt”.  I realized at that moment, he already knows more than me.  From that moment on, I decided that it is ok if my hips look big..it is ok if my butt looks big or my shirt is too tight…because the most important people in my life (my children) don’t see me for that.  They see my “heart” and we all want that to be BIG. 

So the answer to the question today, is “YES”…  The truth hurts sometimes, but once you start steering away from the truth..life becomes nothing but one “feel right” answer.   And if you always get the “feel right” answer, why even ask the question.  Right?  So if you don’t want a true answer, don’t ask the question in my house…or you may be searching my closet for something new to wear..  I am just Keeping it REAL and hope you will do the same with your children.