First Impressions…

I was sitting around coughing my head off last night (gotta love allergy season) and started pondering on all the people that I have met in the last few months.  I thought that I was a person that always went with my first impression of people.  I have struggled to overcome this (or so I thought) mainly because everyone’s first impression of me is never a positive one, so how could I judge in just one meeting. Right?     So today, I reached out to my FB friends/family and asked the question “What is the first thing you notice about a person when you meet them?”.   As always, I would love to share:

Smile

Teeth, It’s a problem for me (coming from where I live, it is always good to have all your teeth)

Smile and if that’s good I check out the rest (The rest?  Should have asked for this to be defined)

If they smell bad (must have had a bad encounter..hope it wasn’t me)

I have recently become friends with someone that I worked with before and by his answer soon found that we may be very similar in our thought process (poor guy).  His response was “The look on their face to determine their mood”.  Don’t think I have ever met a guy that analyzes “moods”, but can relate.  If I sense someone’s mood is “off”, I easily get nervous and struggle to improve the atmosphere. So I definitely feel sorry for him that he is in tune with the vibe a person reflects.

As for me, I look at their eyes!  I am all about eye contact and eye confidence.  If I meet a person and they struggle to look me in the eyes, I feel confident that they are hiding something.  It is not about the color but about what I see in their eyes.  If I can’t see your eyes, I am at a loss.  So for all those people that I have never met..Never wear sunglasses on our first encounter!

Now back to my point, I thought I always went with my first impression, but as I reflected on those that I have settled into “relations”, I realized that is not a valid statement.  I find myself attracted to those that do not make a good “first” impression.  I almost think of it as a challenge to enhance their personalities. It is a challenge to find the good and bring it out.  I discussed this with my “bestie” and she pulled her counseling ruler out and said “You are still trying to find someone that you can fix.  You need to STOP and find someone that fits with you and isn’t broken according to your expectations”. I think she even growled at me during this conversation.  So I think I get it….

As we all know relationships are hard, whether is a friendship or a companionship; it takes works.  As you get to know the person, you will always find areas that you do not agree with one another.  That is a fact and how you handle them is a work in progress.  However, never go into either with the idea that you can “change” a person or make them “change” the way they function in life.  They just won’t do it (the same as you won’t change either).  And in Keeping it REAL….Don’t totally turn away your first impression because your thoughts at that moment may come back to the surface days, months, or years down the road.  It is OK to tread lightly when you have doubts.  It is always better to have a small circle of friends then a large circle of acquaintances…  Happy Hump Day!