So I have to say last night was the craziest night that I have experienced in awhile. After I finished work, I went to meet my friends for hot wings. Our table soon became crowded with the group that I would call “Divorced and ready to move one”. I met some very nice people and find the conversations to be the funniest ones yet!
As many may know, I am a people watcher. I tend to sit back and just observe (until I get comfortable). Then it happened… A friend of a friend, stopped by the table and started chatting (for reference point, let’s just name him “Bud”) He began having conversations and then just looked over and said “who are you”. I was a little shocked. I quietly said my name and found within minutes, he was sitting next to me. He instantly began questioning why I was so quiet and what was up with me. I just said I was just taking it all in and enjoying my time.
As always when you are hanging out with divorcees, the conversation of “bedroom activity” came up. Of course, it always goes to the “lack thereof” conversation. I honestly don’t feel bad for many of these men because I believe the “no” usually comes more frequently from the man. (Maybe it is just me but my surveys shows this to be true) The conversation led to what women like versus men. I, of course; pulled out my learning lesson from a girls night and emphasized…”men are like microwaves and women are like crock pots”. They all looked at me like “what??” I then proceeded to explain what I had learned. The bottom line…Men need to slow down and women need to speed up to a happy middle (maybe a stove?) At this point, I realized that I may have taken the conversation to a level of discomfort for me. “Bud” decided to pipe up and share his lessons learned from his dad…
I really don’t remember the first lesson, but the second one sent me in a state of shock. He said “my dad always told me to pick a woman with small hands; it will make your “junk” look bigger”. He then said “I noticed how incredibly small your hands are”. Now let me say that I do have extremely small hands. Matter of fact, I have to buy kids gloves because adult gloves are too big. I was a little shocked Everyone at the table laughed and I proceeded to take mental note of reason #1 for his failed married life (in bed).
I soon got the full detailed picture of his marriage, his children, and his decision after 17 years to get a divorce. I do find him to be in the dangerous zone because he still lives with his ex wife…so as I have learned in the past..STAY CLEAR. Ha! He seems nice enough and I am sure we will remain social since he too is a regular divorcee at the weekly “hump day” events.
As we continued the conversations, I began to “zone” again and start people watching. I am always amazed at the different ways people dress to go “bar hopping”. I, of course; wear my typical jeans and T-shirt. I don’t think I will ever fully understand why people dress up to go out and social. I am a firm believer in being who you are and not putting on a show. That is when I spotted this girl walking into the bar. I am guessing she was in her twenties..very cute..wearing jeans and a Tshirt. I thought “Finally!” someone has arrived dressed like me! Then I took a closer look at her T-shirt and broke out into complete laughter! Her shirt said “Love Sucks…True Love Swallows”. I thought “Wow”, I am not sure I could have walked into a bar wearing that but she DID! I was so intrigued by her confidence that I chatted with her for a few and took a picture of her shirt for reference. She was great!
“Bud” was laughing hysterically and snapped a picture to send to all his friends. I found myself becoming the “advice line” and couldn’t help myself! I told him..A successful marriage consists of never saying “no”. He looked at me like that was foreign and I totally agree..It is to me too! But the perfect relationships that I reflect on…both parties never say “no”..whether it is a request for “bed activity” or a request to do something fun outside of the marriage. The answer is always “it is up to you…whatever you want to do is fine with me”. (I guess I need to quote my Bestie on this one).
So in Keeping it REAL, the true challenge in life is finding that person that you can accept for who they are… You should never settle for someone that does not have the same values, interests, and/or faith that you do. My hardest obstacle in life has been my “need” to fix people. My new lesson in life is that many don’t need to be fixed. They are just not the right person for me but someone else may find their “issues” to be positive “traits”. So for all those out there in a “new” relationship, my life lesson to you..Don’t try to change them and take your time… There really is a perfect match for everyone, you just have to keep looking and don’t settle for the “fixable”. They aren’t worth the effort and in the long run, you will find that they are still just as broken (to you) as they were the day you met them… And for all my VA friends…BUILD A BOAT because it looks like the water is going to rise!
No comments:
Post a Comment