Just when you think life is getting easier…….

So if you saw my post yesterday, you can only imagine the impact of the aftershock.  I sat and pondered on what the outcome would be and I should have guessed that he wouldn’t be honest (at first).  My son finally decided to answer the 20^th call from his dad. I held his hand as I encouraged him to be honest about his feelings.  I will say it was hard, but he did a fabulous job!  He was so worried that his dad would get mad or upset.  The big killer though…  His dad lied!  That’s right!  He claimed he knew nothing about what was posted in FB and that he wasn’t in a relationship.  At this point, I saw the disappointment in my son’s face.  I literally felt it too.  My chest started aching and if I didn’t know better I could have mistaken the pain of anxiety as a heart attack. 

As my son hung up the phone, I sat for one minute.  I asked him what he thought.  He said “Dad lied to me”.  I felt the rush of pain in my chest and my hands began to shake. I told him that I was sorry and that we would work it out somehow.   So what did I do?

I told him I loved him and that I had to go get my bestie some medicine and drop it off at her house.  (on a side note: I sure hope she is feeling better today)  I kissed both of the kids and told my mother I had to go out.  Now, in the past; I probably would have ran to my besties and vented until the pain went away.  NOT THIS TIME!  I grabbed my cell phone and went for a drive.  I couldn’t let this one go!  I dialed up their father and let it rip.  Let me say that most arguments with his father would go on and on because he would always be determined to be seen as “making sense”. Of course, his first response was “I can’t believe I don’t live there and still have to take this crap”.  In a nutshell, I covered the following (with a few dirties thrown in):

                My job is to protect and raise my children in a safe and honest way

                Your son has been destroyed enough by your lies and I won’t allow it

No more FB for our son.  Obviously, it is not a good communication method for him to interact with family

You need to man UP and be honest with him

Of course, he denied the relationship and made up more lies as he went.  The funny part was that it was all there to contradict him on FB.  I had a response to everything.  In my final moments of the conversation, I told him that when he called at 8PM, if he wasn’t’ honest; I would cut communication until he could be! I told him that I was happy for him and could care less who he dates, but he will not subject our children to his childish games.

I hung up the phone took a DEEP breath and my chest pain was gone!  I realize now that I can’t shelter them from life’s hardships, but I sure as heck can stand up for them when they are too weak to do it!  I drove back home, hugged the kids, and sat down to watch the “Yogi Bear” the movie…

As I sat in bed thinking, I realized that l am strong and getting stronger every day.  I can’t give up and I can’t back down because my children’s future is that valuable.  I don’t want them to look back on marriage, relationships, and socials as a bad thing.  I want them to learn from it and move forward knowing that “they control their behaviors and it starts with honesty”. I know that my life is going to constantly have its ups and downs, but at least I have control of the outcome. 

So in Keeping it REAL, life is like a walk in a garden of roses..  In order to get to the rose, you must handle some thorns every now and then..   I have not yet reached the rose, but I can smell it!  HUGS and LOVE TO ALL…..  Happy Hump Day!