So last night was a first of many disappointments for my oldest child. I struggled with wanting to hide him from the many pitfalls of life, but this one was unavoidable. It seems like it is so much easier to just hide the challenges, then to allow your child to face them. I found yesterday to be a very difficult day and it burned my soul terribly to see my son “ponder” on what life had in store for him. Once again, I thank my bestie and my mom for reminding me that life is hard and to shelter now will make it more difficult for both of them in the future.
So as many of you know, I am a FB junky. I love keeping up with my friends both old and new. I mostly enjoy those that make me laugh by posting the silliest of comments from when they have a poop break to how many times they have contracted lice in their home. It is great to see that we all struggle and survive the day to day obstacle (or behaviors in the case of the poops). About a year ago, I decided to allow my son to have a FB site. I am in total control of who he accepts as a friend and I monitor his activities on a daily basis. My reasoning for giving him this was so that he could interact with his father and his father’s family. What I didn’t expect was that his father would change his relationship status and display who he was in a relationship with before having a conversation with his son. I guess I should have expected it since he hasn’t shown much maturity throughout our marriage..why would I expect him to have any now. Right?
My son reviewed what he saw and said “Well, I figured dad had a girlfriend the entire time”. He then said “I just wish he told me instead of me reading it”. It is sad that a 9 year old can see the common sense in that but the adult can’t. I then had to explain to both of my children that they will never get a new mom and that they will never have to spend time with their father’s girlfriends…. Although they both went to bed and struggled to sleep due to nightmares and falling out of the bed… I am hoping that by today, they will be refreshed and ready to face the situation..
Now for the dilemma, I confronted their father and he is playing ignorant. He says he is not in a relationship and he doesn’t know what FB says. So I guess, I will be reminding my children; once again, that daddy doesn’t always say the truth. I should feel sorry for the woman involved..but better her problem then mine..Right? So another adventure to come…..
As for my point…. In Keeping it REAL, you can’t shelter your children. Allow them to live “real life” but make sure you communicate, communicate, and communicate some more. Ask them how they feel and remind them that it doesn’t change who they are.. Keep them talking and in time, they will heal. As for my FB family that checked on me yesterday. I am a survivor! I am happy being single and I am finally feeling secure in “me”. No worries..I too will stop feeling the chest pain and be relieved that he is someone else’s problem. And remember..be careful what you post on FB… You never know who might see it and you never know who you might hurt in the process….. Happy Tuesday and Hugs to my bestie that she gets over the sickies….
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